she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
