I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He did a backflip because drugs
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
