operation have a gay friend backfired
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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