Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
