Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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