how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
