3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
