But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
