i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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