I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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