The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I love how my cats smell like pot.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
