when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
