The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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