Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
