Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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