it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
