So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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