Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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