We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
