My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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