How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
