I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
