She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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