I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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