you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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