He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
