Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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