I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
