I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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