My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
