you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
