He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I am morally bankrupt
I look better un-naked...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
