hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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