Will you blow on my dice?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
