i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
