You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Text me some of your sweat
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
