What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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