what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
