either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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