I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
