I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
