guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
