There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
