im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we're making bets on your personal life
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
