So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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