Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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