and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dignity is for republicans.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
