She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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