we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
