Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
